When You Were Young

You Sit There In Your Heartache
Waiting On Some Beautiful Boy To
To Save You From Your Old Ways
You Play Forgiveness
Watch It Now
Here He Comes

He Doesnt Look A Thing Like Jesus
But He Talks Like A Gentleman
Like You Imagined
When You Were Young

Can We Climb This Mountain
I Dont Know
Higher Now Than Ever Before
I Know We Can Make It If We Take It Slow
Let's Take It Easy
Easy Now
Watch It Go

We're Burning Down The Highway Skyline
On The Back Of A Hurricane
That Started Turning
When You Were Young
When You Were Young

And Sometimes You Close Your Eyes
And See The Place Where You Used To Live
When You Were Young

They Say The Devil's Water
It Ain't So Sweet
You Dont Have To Drink Right Now
But You Can Dip Your Feet
Every Once In A Little While

You Sit There In Your Heartache
Waiting On Some Beautiful Boy To
To Save You From Your Old Ways
You Play Forgiveness
Watch It Now
Here He Comes

He Doesnt Look A Thing Like Jesus
But He Talks Like A Gentleman
Like You Imagined
When You Were Young
(talks Like A Gentleman)
(like You Imagined)
When You Were Young

I Said He Doesnt Look A Thing Like Jesus
He Doesnt Look A Thing Like Jesus
But More Than You'll Ever Know


When You Were Young - Sam's Town The Killer 2006.

A Sense of Humor

It seems Professor Einstein, hoping to enjoy his 72nd birthday in peace, was stuck on the Princeton campus enduring incessant hounding by the press. Upon being prodded to smile for the camera for what seemed like the millionth time, he gave photographer Arthur Sasse a good look at his uvula instead. This being no ordinary tongue, the resulting photo became an instant classic, thus ensuring that the distinguished Nobel Prize-winner would be remembered as much for his personality as for his brain.

Einstein with his Tongue Out Arthur Sasse, 1951.

Burning Martyr

Thích Quảng Đức a Vietnamese Mahayana Buddhist monk who burned himself to death at a busy Saigon road intersection on 11 June 1963 as a protest against the persecution of Buddhists by South Vietnam's Christian President Ngô Đình Diệm administration.

Putlizer Award - Burning Monk Malcolm Browne 1963.

The Bible According to Google Earth

Father Adam and Mother Eve living happily in Paradise




The Arc of Noah boarding on the Mount Ararat




The journey of Moses and the Israelites through the Red Sea




The Crucifixion of the Christ at Jerusalem




The Bible According to Google Earth James Dive & The Glue Society 2008.

An Open Horizon

Fly Students, fly high

Fly and see this world
A world of people
A world of nature
A world of endless horizons

Fly and open your eyes
To people in joy, in agony
To people living
And others, merely surviving

Fly high, Students, fly
To discover what we can do
For the world around us
And the people within

We can only do so much, perhaps
And a little at a time, at that

But believe, we can make life better
We can change this desperate world
Into one united in its diversity
And joined by its humanity

But only if we try
Try,try very hard

So fly, Students, fly
To discover yourselves,
Your happinesses
Your sorrows

Above all, uncover your strengths
And fly, Students, fly high...

Let's fly, and learn to soar


An Open Horizon Mizue Hara (translation) 2004.

Si Tenggang's Homecoming

I

The physical journey that I traverse
is the journey of the soul,
transport of the self from a fatherland
to a country collected by sight and mind.
The knowledge the sweats from it
is estranger's experience,
from one who had learnt to see, reflect
and choose between
the challenging actualities.

II

Its true I have growled at my mother and
grandmother,
but only after having told them my predicament
that they have never brought to consideration
the wife that i began to love in my loneliness,
in the country that alienated me,
they enveloped in their pre-judgement.
I have not entirely returned, I know,
having been changed by time and place.
Coarsed by problems
Estranged by absence.

III

But look.
I have brought myself home,
seasoned by faith.
Broadened by land and language,
I am no longer afraid of the oceans
of the difeerences between people,
no longer easily snared
no words of ideas.

The journey was a loyal teacher,
who was never tardy
in explaning cultures and variousness.
Look i am just like you.
still Malay,
sensitive to what
I believe is good,
and more ready to understand

than my brothers.
The contents of these boats are yours too,
because I have returned.

IV

Travel makes me
a seeker who does not take
what is given without sincerity
or that which demands payment from
beliefs.
The years at sea and in coastal state
have thought me to choose,
to accept only those tested by
comparison,
or that which matches the roads of my
ancestors,
which returns me to my village
and its comppleteness.

V

I've leanrt
the ways of the rude,
to hold actuality in a new logic,
debate with hard and loud facts.
But I too
have humanity, respecting
man and life.

VI

I am not a new man,
not very different
from you;
the people and cities
of coastal ports
thought me not to brood
over a foreign world,
suffer difficulties
or fear possibilities.

I am you,
freed from the village,
its soils and ways,
independent, because
I have found myself.


The Travel Journals of Si Tenggang II Muhammad Haji Salleh 1979.

The Best Is Yet To Be

On your joyful wedding day,
You begin a brand new life.
Friends and family give their gifts
To joyful husband, blissful wife.

But the greatest gift you'll ever get,
A gift from heaven above,
Is love forever, ending never,
Everlasting love.

You'll share life's joy and pleasure;
You'll have plenty of that, it's true.
But love is the real treasure
For your new spouse and you.

And if life hands you challenges,
As it does to one and all,
Your love will hold you steady
And never let you fall.

Your wedding day is full of joy;
Tomorrow you cannot see.
But one thing's sure for the two of you:
The best is yet to be.


The Best Is Yet To Be Joanna Fuchs.

My Way

And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend I'll say it clear
I'll state my case of which I'm certain

I've lived a life that's full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Regrets I've had a few
But then again too few to mention
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption

I planned each charted course
Each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this
I did it my way

Yes there were times I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out, I faced it all
And I stood tall and did it my way

I've loved, I've laughed and cried
I've had my fill, my share of losing
And now as tears subside
I find it all so amusing

To think I did all that
And may I say not in a shy way
Oh no, oh no, not me
I did it my way

For what is a man what has he got
If not himself then he has not
To say the things he truly feels
And not the words of one who kneels
The record shows I took the blows
And did it my way

Yes it was my way.


My Way Claude François, Jacques Revaux and Paul Anka 1969

An Eternal Law

Free Palestine Protest Tanya Nagar 2006

The Intelligence Behind The Living

Birds have the homing instinct. The robin that nested at your door may go south in the autumn, but will come back to his old nest the next spring. In September, flocks of many of our birds fly south, often over a thousand miles of open sea, but they do not lose their way. The homing pigeon, confused by new sounds on a long journey in a closed box, circles for a moment then heads almost unerringly for home. The bee finds its hive while the wind waving the grasses and trees blots out every visible guide to its whereabouts. This homing sense is slightly developed in man, but he supplements his meagre equipment with instruments of navigation.

We need this instinct and our brain provides the answer. The tiny insects must have microscopic eyes, how perfect we do not know, and the hawks, the eagle and the condor must have telescopic vision. Here again man surpasses them with his mechanical instruments. With his telescope he can see a nebula so faint that it requires two million times his vision, and with the electron microscope he can see hither to invisible bacteria and, so to speak the little bugs that bite them.

If you let old Dobbin alone he will keep to the road in the blackest night. He can see, dimly perhaps, but he notes the difference in temperature of the road and the sides with eyes that are slightly affected by the infra-red rays of the road. The owl can see the nice warm mouse as he runs in the cooler grass in the blackest night. We turn night into day by creating radiation in that short octave we call light.

The honey-bee workers make chambers of different sizes in the comb used for breeding. Small chambers are constructed for the workers, larger ones for the drones, and special chambers for the prospective queens. The queen bee lays unfertilized eggs in the cells designed for males, but lays fertilized eggs in the proper chambers for the female workers and the possible queens. The workers, who are the modified females, having long since anticipated the coming of the new generation, are also prepared to furnish food for the young bees by chewing and predigesting honey and pollen. They discontinue the process of chewing, including the predigesting, at a certain stage of the development of the males and females, and feed only honey and pollen. The females so treated become the workers.

For the females in the queen chambers the diet of chewed and predigested food is continued. These specially treated females develop into queen bees, which alone produce fertile eggs. This process of reproduction involves special chambers, special eggs, and the marvelous effect of a change of diet. This means anticipation, discretion, and the application of a discovery of the effect of diet.

These changes apply particularly to a community life and seem necessary to its existence. The knowledge and skills required must have been evolved after the beginnings of this community life, and are not necessarily inherent in the structure or the survival of the honey bee as such. The bee, therefore, seems to have out stripped man in knowledge of the effects of diet under certain conditions.

The dog with an inquiring nose can sense the animal that has passed. No instrument of human invention has added to our inferior sense of smell, and we hardly know where to begin to investigate its extension. Yet even our sense of smell is so highly developed that it can detect ultra-microscopic particles. How do we know that we all get the same reaction from any single odour? The fact is that we do not. Taste also gives a very different sensation to each of us. How strange that these differences in perception are hereditary. All animals hear sounds, many of which are outside our range of vibration, with an acuteness that far surpasses our limited sense of hearing. Man by his devices can now hear a fly walking miles away as though it was on his eardrums, and with like instruments record the impact of a cosmic ray.

In some species, the workers bring in little seeds to feed the other ants through the winter. The ants establish what is known as the grinding room, in which those which have developed gigantic jaws especially built for grinding, prepare the food for the colony. This is their sole occupation. When the autumn comes and the seeds are all ground, 'the greatest good for the greatest number 'requires that the food supply be conserved and as there will be plenty of grinders in the new generation, the soldier ants kill off the grinders, satisfying their entomological conscience by believing perhaps that the grinders had had reward enough in having had first chance at the food while they ground.

One of the water spiders fashions a balloon-shaped nest of cob web filaments and attaches it to some object under water. Then she ingeniously entangles an air bubble in the hairs of her underbody, carries it into the water, and releases it under the nest. This performance is repeated until the nest is inflated, when she proceeds to bring forth and raise her young safe from attack by air. Here we have a synthesis of the web, engineering, construction, and aeronautics. Chance perhaps, but that still leaves the spider unexplained.

The young salmon spends years at sea, then comes back to his own river, and, what is more, he travels up the side of the river into which flows the tributary in which he was born. The laws of the States on one side of the dividing stream may be strict and the other side not, but these laws affect only the fish which may be said to belong to each side. What brings them back so definitely?

If a salmon going up a river is transferred to another tributary he will at once realize he is not in the right tributary and will fight his way down to the main stream and then turn up against the current to finish his destiny. There is, however, a much more difficult reverse problem to solve in the case of the eel. These amazing creatures migrate at maturity from all the ponds and rivers everywhere, those from Europe across thousands of miles of ocean, all go to the abysmal deeps south of Bermuda. There they breed and die.

The little ones, with no apparent means of knowing anything except that they are in a wilderness of water, start back and find their way to the shore from which their parents came and thence to every river, lake and little pond, so that each body of water is always populated with eels. They have braved the mighty currents, storms and tides, and have conquered the beating waves on every shore. They can now grow and when they are mature, they will, by some mysterious law, go back through it all to complete the cycle.

Where does the directing impulse originate? No American eel has ever been caught in European waters and no European eel has ever been caught in American waters. Nature has also delayed the maturity of the European eel by a year or more to make up for its much greater journey. Do atoms and molecules when combined in an eel have a sense of direction and willpower to exercise it?

A female moth placed in your attic by the open window will send out some subtle signal. Over an unbelievable area, the male moths of the same species will catch the message and respond in spite of your attempts to produce laboratory odours to disconcert them. Has the little creature a broadcasting station, and has the male moth a mental radio set beside his antennae? Does she shake the ether and does he catch the vibration? The cricket rubs its legs or wings together, and on a still night can be heard half a mile away. It shakes six hundred tons of air and calls its mate. Miss Moth, working in a different realm of physics and, in apparent silence, calls quite as effectively. Before the radio was discovered, scientists decided it was odour that attracted the male moth. It was a miracle either way, because the odour would have to travel in all directions, with or without the wind. The male moth would have to be able to detect a molecule and sense the direction from whence it came. By a vast mechanism, we are developing the same ability to communicate, and the day will come when a young man may call his loved one from a distance and without mechanical medium and she will answer. No lock or bars will stop them. Our telephone and radio are instrumental wonders and give us means of almost instant communication, but we are tied to a wire and a place. The moth is still ahead of us, and we can only envy her until our brain evolves an individual radio Then, in a sense, we will have telepathy.

Vegetation makes subtle use of involuntary agents to carry on its existence - insects to carry pollen from flower to flower and the winds and everything that flies or walks to distribute seed. At last, vegetation has trapped masterful man. He has improved nature, and she generously rewards him. But he has multiplied so prodigiously that he is now chained to the plough. He must sow, reap, and store; breed and cross-breed; prune and graft. Should he neglect these tasks starvation would be his lot, civilization would crumble, and earth return to her pristine state.

Every cell that is produced in any living creature must adapt itself to be part of the flesh, to sacrifice itself as a part of the skin, which will soon be worn off. It must deposit the enamel of teeth, produce the transparent liquid in an eye, or become a nose or an ear. Each cell must then adapt itself in shape and every other characteristic necessary to fulfil its function. It is hard to think of a cell as right-handed or left handed, but one becomes part of a right ear, the other becomes part of the left ear. Some crystals that are chemically identical turn the rays of light to the left, others to the right. There seems to be such a tendency in the cells. In the exact place where they belong, they become a part of the right ear or the left ear and your two ears are opposite each other on your head, and not as in the case of a cricket, on your elbows. Their curves are opposite, and when complete, they are so much alike you cannot tell them apart. Hundreds of thousands of cells seem impelled to do the right thing at the right time in the right place.

Many animals are like a lobster, which, having lost a claw, will by some restimulation of the cells and the reactivation of the genes discover that a part of the body is missing and restore it. When the work is complete, the cells stop work, for in some way they know it is quitting time. A fresh-water polyp divided into halves can reform itself out of one of these halves. Cut off an angle worm's head and he will soon create a new one. We can stimulate healing but when will our surgeons, if ever, know how to stimulate the cells to produce a new arm, flesh, bones, nails, and activating nerves?

An extraordinary fact throws some light on this mystery of recreation. If cells in the early stages of development are separated each has the ability to create a complete animal. Therefore, if the original cell divides into two and they are separated, two individuals will be developed. This may account for identical twins but it means much more - each cell at first is in detail potentially a complete individual. There can be no doubt then, that you are you in every cell and fibre.

Certain ants, by means of instinct or reasoning (choose which you prefer), cultivate mushrooms for food in what may be called mushroom gardens, and capture certain caterpillars and aphids (plantlice). These creatures are the ants' cows and goats, from which they take certain exudations of a honey like nature for food. Ants capture and keep slaves. Some ants, when they make their nests, cut the leaves to size, and while certain workers hold the edges in place, use their babies, which in the larval stage are capable of spinning silk, as shuttles to sew them together. The poor baby may be bereft of the opportunity of making a cocoon for himself, but he has served his community. How do the inanimate atoms and molecules of matter composing an ant set these complicated processes in motion? There must be Intelligence somewhere.


Man Does Not Stand Alone Abraham Cressy Morrison 1944

Story of Prophet Job

Ayyub (alaihissalam) was repentant, remembering Allah with thankfulness, patience, and steadfastness. This was the cause of his rescue and the secret of Allaah's praising him. A group of angels were discussing Allaah's other human creatures, how those who were humble earned Allaah's pleasure, while those who were arrogant incurred His displeasure. One of the angels remarked: "The best creature on earth today is Ayyub, a man of noble character who displays great patience and always remembers his Generous Lord. He is an excellent model for the worshippers of Allaah. In return, his Lord has blessed him with a long life and plenty of servants, as well as the needy and the poor share in his good fortune; he feeds and clothes the poor and buys slaves to set them free. He makes those who receive his charity feel as if they are favoring him so kind and gentle is he."

Iblis overhearing all of this, became annoyed. He planned to tempt Ayyub (alaihissalam) to corruption and disbelief, so he hastened to him. He tried to distract Ayyub from his prayers by whispering him about the good things in life but Job was a true believer and would not let evil thoughts tempt him. This disturbed Iblis even more; thus he began to hate Ayyub even more.

Iblis complained to Allaah about Ayyub (alaihissalam) .. He said that although he was continuously glorifying Allaah he was not doing so out of his sincerity but to satisfy Allah so that his wealth should not be taken away. It was all a show, all out of greed. "If You remove his wealth then You will find that his tongue will no longer mention Your name and his praying will stop."

Allaah told Iblis that Ayyub (alaihissalam) was one of His most sincere devotees. He did not worship Him because of the favors; his worship stemmed from his heart and had nothing to do with material things. But to prove to Iblis the depth of Ayyub's sincerity and patience, Allaah allowed him to do whatever he and his helpers wished with Ayyub alaihissalam' s wealth.

Iblis was very happy. he gathered his helpers and set about destroying Ayyub alaihissalam' s cattle, servants and farms until he was left with no possessions. Rubbing his hands in glee, Iblis appeared before Ayyub in the guise of a wise old man and said to him: "All your wealth is lost, some people say that it is because you gave too much charity and that you are wasting your time with your continuous prayers to Allaah. Others say that Allaah has brought this upon you in order to please your enemies. If Allaah had the capacity to prevent harm, then He would have protected your wealth."

True to his belief, Ayyub (alaihissalam) replied: "What Allaah has taken away from me belongs to Him. I was only its trustee for awhile. He gives to whom He wills and withholds from whom He wills." With these words, Ayyub (alaihissalam) again prostrated to his Lord.

When Iblis saw this, he felt frustrated, so he again addressed Allaah: "I have stripped Job of all his possessions, but he still remains grateful to You. However he is only hiding his disappointment, for he places great store by his many children. The real test of a parent is through his children. You will see how Ayyub will reject You."

Allaah granted Iblis authority but warned him that it would not reduce Ayyub's faith in His Lord nor his patience.

Iblis again gathered his helpers and set about his evil deeds. He shook the fountain of the house in which Ayyub (alaihissalam) 's children were living and sent the building crashing, killing all of them. Then he went to Ayyub disguised as a man who had come to sympathize with him. In a comforting tone he said to Ayyub (alaihissalam): "The circumstances under which your children died were sad. Surely, your Lord is not rewarding you properly for all your prayers." Having said this, Iblis waited anxiously hoping Ayyub (alaihissalam) was now ready to reject Allaah.

But again Ayyub (alaihissalam) disappointed him by replying: "Allaah sometimes gives and sometimes takes. He is sometimes pleased and sometimes displeased with our deeds. Whether a thing is beneficial or harmful to me, I will remain firm in my belief and remain thankful to my Creator." then Ayyub (alaihissalam) prostrated to his Lord. At this Iblis was extremely vexed.

Iblis called on Allah. "O my Lord, Ayyub's wealth is gone, his children are dead, and he is still healthy in body, and as long as he enjoys good health he will continue to worship You in the hope of regaining his wealth and producing more children. Grant me authority over his body so that I may weaken it. He will surely neglect worshipping You an will thus become disobedient. "

Allah wanted to teach Iblis a lesson that Ayyub was a devoted servant of his Lord so He granted Iblis his 3rd request but placed a condition: "I give you authority over his body but not over his soul, intellect or heart, for in these places reside the knowledge of Me and My religion."

Armed with this new authority, Iblis began to take revenge on Job's body and filled it with disease until it was reduced to mere skin and bone and he suffered severe pain. But through all the suffering Job remained strong in his faith, patiently bearing all the hardships without complaining. Allah's righteous servant did not despair or turn to others for help but remained hopeful of Allah's mercy. Even close relatives and friends deserted him. Only his kind, loving wife stayed with him. In his hour of need, she showered her kindness on him and cared for him. She remained his sole companion and comforter through the many years of suffering.

Ibn Asaker narrated: "Ayyyb was a man having much wealth of all kinds; beats, slaves, sheep, vast lands of Haran and many children. All those favors were taken from him and he was physically afflicted as well. Never a single organ was sound except his heart and tongue, with both of which he glorified Allaah, the Almighty all the time day and night. His disease lasted for a long time until his visitors felt disgusted with him. His friends kept away from him and people abstained from visiting him. No one felt sympathy for him except his wife. She took good care of him, knowing his former charity and pity for her."

Therefore Iblis became desperate. He consulted his helpers, but they could not advise him. They asked : "How is it that your cleverness cannot work against Ayyub alaihissalam, yet you succeeded in misleading Adam the father of man, out of Paradise?"

Iblis went to Ayyub alaihissalam' s wife in the form of a man. "Where is your husband?" he asked her.

She pointed to an almost lifeless form crumbled on the bed and said: "There he is, suspended between life and death."

Iblis reminded her of the days, when Ayyub had good health, wealth and children. Suddenly, the painful memory of years of hardship overcame her, and she burst into tears. She said to Ayyub: "How long are you going to bear this torture from our Lord? Are we to remain without wealth, children or friends forever? Why don't you call upon Allah to remove this suffering?"

Ayyub (alaihissalam) sighed, and in a soft voice replied : "Iblis must have whispered to you and made you dissatisfied. Tell me how long did I enjoy good health and riches?"

She replied: "80 years."

Then Ayyub (alaihissalam) replied: "How long am I suffering like this?"

She said: "7 years."

Ayyub then told her: "In that case I am ashamed to call on my Lord to remove the hardship, for I have not suffered longer than the years of good health and plenty. It seems your faith has weakened and you are dissatisfied with the fate of Allah. If I ever regain health, I swear I will punish you with a hundred strokes! From this day onward, I forbid myself to eat or drink anything by your hand. Leave me alone and let my Lord do with me as He pleases."

Crying bitterly and with a heavy heart, she had no choice but to leave him and seek shelter elsewhere. In this helpless sate, Ayyub turned to Allaah, not to complain but to seek His mercy: "Verily! distress has seized me and You are the Most Merciful of all those who show mercy." so We answered his call, and we removed the distress that was on him, and We restored his family to him (that he had lost), and the like thereof along with them as a mercy from Ourselves and a Reminder for all who worship Us." (Ch 22: 83-84)

Almighty Allah also instructed: "Remember Our slave Ayyub, when he invoked His Lord saying: "Verily! Satan has touched me with distress (by losing my health) and torment (by losing my wealth)!" Allah said to him: "Strike the ground with your foot: This is a spring of water to wash in and cool and a refreshing drink." And We gave him back his family, and along with them the like thereof as a Mercy from Us, and a reminder for those who understand. (Ch 38:41-43)

Ayyub obeyed and almost immediately his good health was restored. Meanwhile, his faithful wife could not longer bear to be parted from her husband and returned to him to beg his forgiveness, desiring to serve him. On entering her house, she was amazed at the sudden change: Ayyub was again healthy! She embraced him and thanked Allah for His mercy.

Ayyub was not worried, for he had taken an oath to punish her with a hundred strokes if he had regained health but he had no desire to hurt her. He knew if he did not fulfill the oath, he would be guilty of breaking a promise to Allah. Therefore in His wisdom and mercy, Allah came to the assistance of His faithful servant and advised him: "take in your hand a bundle of thin grass and strike therewith your wife, and break not your oath." Truly! We found him patient. How excellent a slave! Verily, he was ever oft returning in repentance to Us!" (Ch 38:44)

Abu Hurairah (may Allah be pleased with him) narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (sallallaahu alaihi wa sallam) said: "While Ayyub (alaihissalam) was naked, taking a bath, a swarm of gold locusts fell on him, and he started collecting them in his garment. His Lord called him: "O Ayyub! Have I not made you too rich to need what you see?" He said: "Yes, My Lord! But I cannot shun Your Blessings." (Al Bukhari)


Qasas al-Anbiya Ismail Ibn Kathir 1373

Glimpse of a Thousand Years

Glimpse of a Thousand Years Diana Cretu 2008

Night The Sunlight Fades

ONCE HEAVEN IS DONE WITH GRANDMA, WE'D LIKE HER BACK,

THANKS.

My daughter had written that in the guest book at my mother's funeral, the kind of assumptive yet incongruent thing a teenager comes up with. But seeing my mother again, hearing her explain how this "dead" world worked, how she was called back to people by their memories of her-well, maybe Maria was onto something.

The glass storm of Miss Thelma's house had passed; I'd had to squeeze my eyes shut to make it stop. Shards of glass poked in my skin and I tried to brush them free, but even that seemed to require great effort.

I was weakening, withering. This day with my mother was losing its light.

"Am I going to die? " I asked.
"I don't know, Charley. Only God knows that."
"Is this heaven?"
"This is Pepperville Beach. Don't you remember?"
"If I'm dead ... If I die ... do I get to be with you?"

She grinned. "Oh, so now you want to be with me."

Maybe that sounds cold to you. But my mother was just being my mother, a little funny, a little teasing the way she'd be had we spent this day together before she'd died. She was also justified. So many times, I had chosen not to be with her. Too busy. Too tired. Don't feel like dealing with it. Church? No thanks. Dinner? Sorry. Come down to visit? Can't do it, maybe next week.

You count the hours you could have spent with your mother. It's a lifetime in itself.

She took my hand now. After Miss Thelma's, we simply walked forward and the scenery changed and we eased through a series of brief appearances in people's lives. Some I recognized as my mother's old friends. Some were men I barely knew, men who had once admired her: a butcher named Armando, a tax attorney named Howard, a flat-nosed watch repairman named Gerhard. My mother spent only a moment with each, smiling or sitting in front of them.

" So they're thinking about you now? " I said. "Mmm, " she said, nodding.
"You go everywhere you're thought of?"
"No," she said. "Not everywhere."

We appeared near a man gazing out a window. Then another man in a hospital bed.

"So many," I said.
"They were just men, Charley. Decent men. Some were widowers."
"Did you go out with them?"
"No."
"Did they ask?"
"Many times."
"Why are you seeing them now?"
"Oh, a woman's prerogative, I guess."

She placed her hands together and touched her nose, hiding a small smile.

"It's still nice to be thought about, you know."

I studied her face. There was no doubting her beauty, even in her late seventies, when she had taken on a more wrinkled elegance, her eyes behind glasses, her hair-once the blue-black of midnight-now the silver of a cloudy afternoon sky. These men had seen her as a woman.

But I had never seen her that way. I had never known her as Pauline, the name her parents had given her, or as Posey, the name her friends had given her; only as Mom, the name I had given her. I could only see her carrying dinner to the table with kitchen mitts, or carpooling us to the bowling alley.

"Why didn't you marry again?" I asked.
"Charley." She narrowed her eyes.
"Come on."
"No. I'm serious. After we grew up-weren't you lonely?"

She looked away.

"Sometimes. But then you and Roberta had kids, and that gave me grandkids, and I had the ladies here and-oh, you know, Charley. The years pass."

I watched her turn her palms up and smile. I had forgotten the small joy of listening to my mother talk about herself.

"Life goes quickly, doesn't it, Charley?"
"Yeah," I mumbled.
"It's such a shame to waste time. We always think we have so much of it."

I thought about the days I had handed over to a bottle. The nights I couldn't remember. The mornings I slept through. All that time spent running from myself.

"Do you remember-" She started laughing. "When I dressed you as a mummy for Halloween? And it rained?"
I looked down. "You ruined my life." Even then, I thought, blaming someone else.
"You should eat some supper," she said.

And with that, we were back in her kitchen, at the round table, one last time. There was fried chicken and yellow rice and roasted eggplant, all hot, all familiar, dishes she'd cooked for my sister and me a hundred times. But unlike the stunned sensation I'd felt earlier in this room, now I was agitated, unnerved, as if I knew something bad was coming. She glanced at me, concerned, and I tried to deflect her attention.

"Tell me about your family," I said.
"Charley," she said. "I've told you that stuff."

My head was pounding.
"Tell me again."

And so she did. She told me about her parents, both immigrants, who died before I was born. She told me about her two uncles and her crazy aunt who refused to learn English and still believed in family curses. She told me about her cousins, Joe and Eddie, who lived on the other coast. There was usually one small anecdote that identified each person. ("She was deathly afraid of dogs." "He tried to join the Navy when he was fifteen.") And it seemed critical now that I match the name with the detail. Roberta and I used to roll our eyes when she launched into these stories. But years later, after the funeral, Maria had asked me questions about the family who was related to whom-and I struggled. I couldn't remember. A big chunk of our history had been buried with my mother. You should never let your past disappear that way.
So this time, I listened intently as my mother went through each branch of the tree, bending back a finger for every person she recounted. Finally, when she finished, she pushed her hands together, and the fingers-like the characters intertwined.

"Annnyhow," she half sang.
"That was-" "I missed you, Mom."

The words just spilled out of me. She smiled, but she didn't answer. She seemed to consider the sentence, gathering my intent, as if pulling in a fisherman's net.

Then, with the sun setting into whatever horizon of whatever world we were in, she ticked her tongue and said, "We have one more stop to make, Charley."



For One More Day Mitch Albom, 2006

What Made Up A Malay

In the pre-colonial (Sumatra before Dutch) period, the origins of the term Batak as a form of self-ascription is elusive. In 19th century European accounts, mainly based on interviews with coastal Malays, Batak had the connotation of interior people, pork-eaters, and uncivilized cannibals. The Malay and Batak identities were once mutually exclusive, at least on the east coast of Sumatra. However, the Batak and Malay distinction was not racial but cultural. If a Batak converted to Islam, he ceased to be Batak and became Malay. Islam was perhaps the most definitive Malay marker.

In the early 19th century, Stamford Raffles proposed a policy that the Islamic lands of Acheh and Minangkabau should be kept apart by making the Batak lands a Christian block. Raffles was also the architect of the Anglo-Dutch Treaty of 1824 that irrevocably and arbitrarily divided the cultural unity of Sumatra and the peninsula. The contemporary boundary between Indonesia and Malaysia is a legacy of that treaty.

The Dutch authorities also maintained a ‘wedge policy’ – the strategy of keeping the two Islamic bulwarks of Aceh and Minangkabau separated by a belt of non-Muslims in the Bataklanden. Indeed the Dutch encouraged the Christian mission into the north, once it was clear that Mandailing were highly resistance to Christian evangelism inspite of achieving the conversion of some Mandailings in Pakantan.


The Transformation of Traditional Mandailing Leadership in Malaysia and Indonesia in the Age of Globalization and Regonal Autonomy by Abdur-Razzaq Lubis, 2001

At The End

It was early in the morning at four,
When death knocked upon a bedroom door,

Who is there? the sleeping one cried.
I'm Azrael, let me inside.

At once, the man began to shiver,
As one sweating in deadly fever,

He shouted to his sleeping wife,
Don't let him take away my life.

Please go away, O Angel of Death!
Leave me alone, I'm not ready yet.

My family on me depends,
Give me a chance, O please prepense!

The angel knocked again and again,
Friend! I'll take your life without a pain,

Tis your soul Allah requires,
I come not with my own desire.

Bewildered, the man began to cry,
O Angel I'm so afraid to die,

I'll give you gold and be your slave,
Don't send me to the unlit grave.

Let me in, O Friend! The Angel said,
Open the door, get up from your bed,

If you do not allow me in,
I will walk through it, like a jinn.

The man held a gun in his right hand,
Ready to defy the Angel's stand.

I'll point my gun, towards your head,
You dare come in, I'll shoot you dead.

By now the Angel was in the room,
Saying, O Friend! prepare for you doom.

Foolish man, Angels never die,
Put down your gun and do not sigh.

Why are you afraid! Tell me O man,
To die according to Allah's plan?

Come smile at me, do not be grim,
Be Happy to return to Him.

O Angel! I bow my head in shame,
I had no time to take Allah's Name.

From morning till dusk,I made my wealth,
Not even caring for my health.

Allah's command I never obeyed,
Nor five times a day I ever prayed.

A Ramadan came and a Ramadan went,
But no time had I to repent.

The Hajj was already FARD on me,
But I would not part with my money.

All charities I did ignore,
Taking usury more and more.

Sometimes I sipped my favourite wine,
With flirting women I sat to dine.

O Angel! I appeal to you,
Spare my life for a year or two.

The Laws of Quran I will obey,
I'll begin SALAT this very day.

My Fast and Hajj, I will complete,
And keep away from self conceit.

I will refrain from usury,
And give all my wealth to charity,

Wine and wenches I will detest,
Allah's oneness I will attest.

We Angels do what Allah demands,
We cannot go against His commands.

Death is ordained for everyone,
Father, mother, daughter or son.

I'm afraid this moment is your last,
Now be reminded, of your past,

I do understand your fears,
But it is now too late for tears.

You lived in this world, two score and more,
Never did you, your people adore.

Your parents, you did not obey,
Hungry beggars, you turned away.

Your two ill-gotten, female offspring,
In night-clubs, for livelihood they sing.

Instead of making more Muslims,
You made your children non-Muslims.

You ignored the Mua'dhin Adhaan,
Nor did you read the Holy Quran.

Breaking promises all your life,
Backbiting friends, and causing strife.

From hoarded goods, great profits you made,
And your poor workers, you underpaid.

Horses and cards were your leisure,
Money-making was your pleasure.

You ate vitamins and grew more fat,
With the very sick, you never sat.

A pint of blood you never gave,
Which could a little baby save.

O Human, you have done enough wrong,
You bought good properties for a song.

When the farmers appealed to you,
You did not have mercy, tis true.

Paradise for you? I cannot tell,
Undoubtedly you will dwell in hell.

There is no time for you to repent,
I'll take your soul for which I am sent.

The ending however, is very sad,
Eventually the man became mad

With a cry, he jumped out of bed,
And suddenly, he fell down dead.

O Reader! Take moral from here,
you never know, your end may be near

change your living and make amends
For heaven, on your deeds depends.

If this poem inspires you,
it can help someone too.


Poem Of The End by Laila

Nasi Lemak

Nasi Lemak by Victor, 2007

What Colour Was the Dog?

Once there was a community of Muslims who were small in number yet large in belief and strong in action. So much so that, the non-believers could not defeat them in battle even though they had the Muslims out numbered.

One day a young man from the enemies pretended to enter into Islam and he went to the big teacher [learned man] in one part of the city and listened to his teaching of the Quran. The subject happened to be on the chapter of the Quran called Al Kahfi [The Cave #18].

When the teacher completed his talk he offered a chance for the brothers present to ask some questions. When it came the turn of the non-believer, he asked the teacher the question:

“Sir, in the story of the 'sleepers' in the cave, there is mention of a dog. And I was wondering if I might inquire as to what color the dog might have been? I hope you don’t mind my asking, especially if it is something that maybe you don’t know the answer to.”

Immediately the teacher says to the young man, “That’s no problem at all, everyone should know that the dog was YELLOW.”

The young man said, “Are you sure? I mean, could it have been another color?”

“No.” replied the old teacher, “It was definitely YELLOW.” Once again the young man thanked him and when on his way.

The next night the young enemy acting as though we was still seeking knowledge went to the other side of town and sat in another gathering of knowledge and they too were discussing different things about verses in the Quran.

So when it came time for the teacher to give each person attending, the opportunity to ask a question, the imposter posing as a Muslim raised his hand and then asked the question, “In the chapter about the “Cave”, the sleepers are mentioned in different numbers but each time there is a reference to their dog as being counted along with them. Now I was wondering whether or not anyone of knowledge has ever made any reference to what the color the dog might have been?”

The teacher immediately said, “Yes! The dog in this story in the Quran was BLACK.”

The young non-believer man was pleased and continued, “Sir, are you quite certain that the color of the dog mentioned in the story was BLACK?”

“Young man,” he quickly replied, “I'll stake my reputation on that as a fact.”

“Thank you, sir." said the non-believer.

The next night the non-believer still posing as a Muslim went back to the first teacher and then when it came time for the questions and answers he raised his hand and asked, “Teacher, you have so much knowledge and I am only a small beginner, I was just wondering, could you maybe remind me about the answer to the question the other night about the color of the dog in the cave in Surah Al-Kahfi?”

The teacher said, “There is no doubt whatsoever amongst the great scholars of Islam on this question. The dog was YELLOW. And anyone who says other than this has no knowledge.”

With that the young man spoke up again and said, “Sir, what would you say if someone else said that he would stake his reputation of being a scholar in Islam on the fact that the dog is not yellow, but rather that the dog is most certainly BLACK?”

The teacher quickly replied, “Then his reputation is not that of a scholar but one of a fool.”

Now the next time the enemy went to the teacher who believed the dog was BLACK, he told the teacher that the teacher on the other side of town was calling him names and saying that he had no knowledge of Islam and that for sure that the dog was YELLOW.

The teacher became angry and shouted, “You tell him, that I said he is the one without knowledge. I am the one who graduated from the greatest of schools of Islam, while he is but a fool.”

The plan was working. Before long the community was divided into two groups. Each group was claiming that their teacher was the one with the correct answer. Fighting broke out in the streets and the Muslims began attacking each other all over the city. Everyone became involved to the extent that there was not a single person who was excluded from this terrible situation. Screaming, shouting, hitting and fighting were everywhere.

And then it happened. The kafr went back out to his people and told them, “Let us go to fight them now. You will now find them most easy to defeat.”


Which Group is the Right Group (Fourth Edition) by Yusuf Estes 2005

Reinforcement Theory

Generally peoples are likely to seek out and remember things that provide support for their already established attitude and belief. The mathematics for this is there aren't a single person who like to be at the wrong side. Most individuals usually had pre-existing belief when it come to certain issues (eg. Religions, politics, ideologies, celebrities they admired etc) and often feel uncomfortable and threatened when their belief are challenged. The Reinforcement Theory is an assumption that people with pre-existing opinion will selectively incorporate with information that support their own views. This results to three primary phenomenon - Selective exposure, selective perception and selective retention.


Selective Exposure - When individuals encounter information that is discrepant from their own opinions, they seek to resolve the resultant disharmony somehow. People in general do not like to be wrong. A change or shift in attitude is sometimes interpreted as an admission that the original belief was inaccurate or inadequate. To avoid having their opinions challenged, people tend to simply avoid information that might be discrepant in nature. Obviously, most are not able to completely avoid all potentially challenging information. In these cases, message receivers may outright reject dissonant messages. The reasons for rejection are varied and plentiful. For example, the person might justify message rejection by attacking the source’s credibility (Sound fit with most Malaysians information-digesting behaviour)


Selective Perception - No matter how much effort that we put in ignorance, there are no way we could completely dodge all the information from reaching us - especially not in this internet era. Booming number of blogs, social nets, forums, facebook and twitter users, the only way to secure your belief from dissonant exposure is by living in cave (which is also impossible to normal 21st century human beings). Now when the exposure has occurred, selective perception often follows in the facts digesting process. Selective perception simply mean that people tend to skew their perception to coincide with what they desire.

There are three potential actions a person may take to reduce dissonance in this situation. First, the person may learn about the new opinion on the issue and then change his opinion or alter his own position on the issue in question to bring them in line. Second, he may still choose to disagree with the new opinion but instead will lessen the issue’s personal importance. Last, the person may engage in selective perception and actually misperceive the new opinion to align better with his/her own stand than it actually does. Commonly the third option to occur with the greatest frequency.


Selective Retention - The final mechanism behind reinforcement theory has to do with selective retention and recall. This phenomenon occurs when people remember only those items that are in agreement with their predispositions. The ease with which a person can recall information impacts the level and intensity of judgment related to the topic. For example, people who can easily recall an example related to the message are more likely to make an intense judgment about it.


Conclusion: Make your own conclusion


Reinforcement Theory from Rahimah IPB management class, 2009

To Remember Me - I will live forever

The day will come when my body will lie upon a white sheet neatly tucked under four corners of a mattress located in a hospital; busily occupied with the living and the dying. At a certain moment a doctor will determine that my brain has ceased to function and that, for all intents and purposes, my life has stopped.

When that happens, do not attempt to instill artificial life into my body by the use of a machine. And don't call this my deathbed. Let it be called the Bed of Life, and let my body be taken from it to help others lead fuller lives.

Give my sight to the man who has never seen a sunrise, a baby's face or love in the eyes of a woman. Give my heart to a person whose own heart has caused nothing but endless days of pain.

Give my blood to the teenager who was pulled from the wreckage of his car, so that he might live to see his grandchildren play. Give my kidneys to the one who depends on a machine to exist from week to week. Take my bones, every muscle, every fiber and nerve in my body and find a way to make a crippled child walk.

Explore every corner of my brain. Take my cells, if necessary, and let them grow so that, someday a speechless boy will shout at the crack of a bat and a deaf girl will hear the sound of rain against her window.

Burn what is left of me and scatter the ashes to the winds to help the flowers grow. If you must bury something, let it be my faults, my weakness and all prejudice against my fellow man.

If, by chance, you wish to remember me, do it with a kind deed or word to someone who needs you. If you do all I have asked, I will live forever.


To Remember Me Robert Noel Test, 1976

The Collapse of Our Surau

Once upon a time, in the world hereafter, Allah was examining people who had returned to Him. The angels were at duty at His side. In their hands were lists of sins and rewards for human beings. There were many people to be examined. It was understandable since there were wars everywhere. Among those to be examined was a man known on earth as Haji Saleh. He smiled continuously because he was sure that he would be sent to Heaven. He stood with his chest puffed out and his arm akimbo, his nose in the air. When he saw people being sent to Hell, his lips twisted in derision. And seeing people in their way to Heaven, he waved his hand as if to say “I’ll see you latter.” The long queues seemed to have no end. As the front of the line moved, the back filed in. And Allah examined the waiting people with all His Might. Finally Haji Saleh’s turn came. Smiling proudly, he knelt before Allah. Then Allah put forward His first question:

“You?”

“I am Saleh. But because I have been to Mecca, I am called Haji Saleh.”

“I did not ask for names. Names for me are insignificant. Names are only for you on earth."

“Yes, my Lord.”

“What did you do on earth?”

“I worshipped You always, my Allah.”

“Anything else?”

“Every day, every night, indeed all the time, I mentioned Your name.”

“Anything else?”

“I followed Your instructions. I never did anything sinful, although the earth was full of sins spread by the cursed devils.”

“Anything else?”

“Yes, my Lord. There was nothing I did but pray and kneel before You, mentioning Your name. even when I was ill, Your name was all my lips uttered. I prayed that the generosity of Your heart would convince Your people.”

“Anything else?”

Haji Saleh could not think of anything else to say. He had told Him everything he did. However, he realized that Allah’s question was not a casual one. There must be something else he had not mentioned. But to the best of his knowledge, he had told everything. He did not know what else to say. He was silent and bowed his head. The fire of Hell suddenly blew its slow heat all over his body. He cried, but each tear drop was dried by the hot air of Hell.

“Anything else?” Allah asked.

“I have told You everything, O Allah the Almighty, the Merciful, the Just, and the All-Knowing.” Haji Saleh, who was now frightened tried the tactic of humbling himself and exalting Allah, hoping that He would be more gentle and would not pursue this line of questioning. But Allah asked again:

“There is nothing else?”

“Oh, oh, yes, my Lord. I always read Your Book…”

“Anything else?”

“I have told you everything. Oh, my Allah. But if there is anything left out, I am thankful because it proves that You are the Omniscient.”

“Are you sure that there is nothing else you did on earth except the things you have just told Me?”

“That was all, my Allah.”

“Get in there!”

And the angels took hold of his ear and quickly dragged Haji Saleh to Hell. He did not know why. He did not understand what Allah expected of him, and yet he believed that Allah could do no wrong.

How stunned Haji Saleh was when he saw that many of his earth friends were roasting in Hell, groaning with pain. He became more perplexed when he realized that all the people he recognized in hell were no less religious than he was. There was even one man who had been to Mecca fourteen times and gained the title of Sheikh. Haji Saleh approached them and asked why they were in Hell. But like Haji Saleh, they did not know either.

“What’s happening to our Allah?” asked Haji Saleh later. “Weren’t we supposed to be constantly pious, firm in our belief? And we were! But now we have been thrown to Hell.”

“Yes, we agree with you. Look at those people! They’re all from our country, and they were no less faithful in their religion.”

“This is really an injustice.”

“Indeed injustice,” echoed the peoples.

“If so, we must request evidence of our guilt. We must remind Allah just in case He inadvertently made a mistake when He put us in the Hell.”

“Right. Right. Right.” Haji Saleh’s idea was applauded.

“What if Allah is not willing to acknowledge His mistake?” a high pitched voice asked from the crowd.

“We protest. We make a resolution,” said Haji Saleh.

“Shall we stage a revolution, too?” asked another voice, apparently someone who was a leader of a revolutionary movement.

“That depends on the circumstances,” replied Haji Saleh. “What’s important now is that we must stage a demonstration in order to meet with Allah.”

“Wonderful. On earth we achieved a lot just by having demonstration,” one voice put in.

“Agreed. Agreed. Agreed.” They applauded noisily and then departed.

When they came before Him, Allah asked: “What can I do for you?”

As leader and spokesman, Haji Saleh stepped forward. With trembling voice and beautiful rhythm, he begin his speech. “Oh, Allah, our Great Lord, We who are now in front of You are Your most devout followers, faithfully worshipping You. We are the people who always mention Your name, adore Your greatness, tell of Your justice, etc. We know Your book backward and forward. We read it and miss nothing. But Almighty Lord, when You summoned us to came here, You then sent us to Hell. Before anything terrible happens, on behalf of the people who love You, we ask that the punishment You have meted out to us be reconsidered, and that we be placed in Heaven in accordance with Your promise in Your book…”

“Where did you all live on earth?” asked Allah.

“We are Your follower who lived in Indonesia, Lord…”

“Oh, in that country with fertile land?”

“Yes, that’s right, Lord.”

“The soil is extremely rich, full of metal, oil, and other minerals, isn’t it?”

“Yes. Yes. Yes. That’s our country.”

“The country that was enslaved for a long time?”

“Yes, Allah. The colonialist was indeed accursed.”

“And the products of your land, it was they who scraped and took them to their own country, is that correct?”

“Correct, my Lord. We have nothing left. They were indeed cursed.’

“The country that is constantly troubled, where you are always fighting each other while someone else steals the products of your land. Is that true?”

 “Yes, Allah. But worldly things are not our concern. What is important for us is to kneel and worship You…”

“You do not mind to be perpetually poor, do you?”

“True. Not at all, Allah.”

“Because of your not minding it, your children and grandchildren with also remain poor, right?”

“Although our descendants are poor, they all read the holy Books. They learn Your books by hearts.”

“Just as with you, none of what they read goes into their hearts, isn’t that right?”

“No, it is in their hearts.”

“If that is the case, why did you allow yourselves to be poor and all your children and grandchildren to suffer, while letting others take away your wealth for their own children? And you prefer to fight each other, deceiving and hurting each other. I gave you an extremely rich country, but you are lazy. You prefer to pray, because praying does not take sweat or hard work. You all know that I asked you to do good deeds besides carrying out the religious practice. How can you do good deeds if you are poor? You think that I am fond of adoration, wanting only worship, so you did nothing but adore and worship me. No, you must all be sent to Hell, Here, angels, drive these peoples back to Hell. Put them at the very bottom…”

Everyone grew pale, not daring to say another word. Now they understood the course of the action on earth that Allah approved. Haji Saleh still wanted to know if what he done was right or wrong, but he lacked the courage to asked Allah, so he just asked the angels who were herding them along.

“In your opinion, is it wrong if on earth we worship Allah?”

“No. What was wrong with you was that you were too selfish. You were afraid of ending up in Hell, so you did nothing but pray. But in so doing you forgot about your people, forgot the welfare of your family, and they ended up neglected. That was your big mistake; too egotistical, even while knowing that you had friends and relatives that depending on you, you did not care for them at all.”

In the Surau edited by Soenjono Dardjowidjojo & Florence Lamoureux 1983